Oh sweet mother of god, it's Friday. Has the week been silly? Yes indeed, it has been an absurd, bizarre week (once again).
22 days to college football.
What does it take to host College GameDay?
Contract details and a long-simmering feud with Big & Rich.
David Covucci
Central Michigan camp notes: QB competition open, Glasser finally a full go
The Chippewas are seeking to live up to a higher standard in Matt Drinkall’s second season at the helm in Mt. Pleasant.
Andrew Graham
It’s Jefry Yan Time | Defector
Years before he figured it out enough to make his Major League debut on Wednesday night at the age of 29, which in turn was long after his career ended for the first time, you could find coverage of Jefry Yan celebrating otherwise unremarkable strikeouts in wild and demonstrative fashion, in decidedly unremarkable settings. MLB.com…
David Roth
Is This The End For Gianni Infantino?
All Gianni Infantino needed was patience. Memory for scandal is short, even in a sport as massive as soccer, and whatever controversies the FIFA president willingly courted during the 2026 World Cup would have soon faded into the background as he won what was going to be an unopposed re-election next March. He could have…
Luis Paez-Pumar
Study: Explosive Power Of Rocket Launcher Increased 35% By Shouting ‘Suck On This’
BALTIMORE—Calling the study’s findings “revolutionary” for anyone currently staring down a henchman or terrorist, a study from Johns Hopkins University published Thursday found that the explosive power of a rocket launcher increased by 35% when the person firing it shouted “Suck on this.” “According to our trials, squinting your eyes and dramatically stating, ’Hey dickbreath, […]
The Onion Staff
About Last Night
HAYES KAAAAAAAANG. We're so back.
HAAAAAAAAYNNNESSSS KIIIIIIIIING! GAME WINNING TOUCHDOWN (easy now, it's preseason)
— JM =^D (@jm539581.bsky.social) August 6, 2026 at 11:05 PM
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