12 Hours of Commercial-loaded Soccer Starts Now: World Cup, June 13
Hoo boy, how about that USMNT win yesterday?
About Last Night (OR AFTERNOON):
Mexico 2 v South Africa 0
BoilerUp89: Everybody gets a red card!
AlmaOtter: Well, Mexico did almost exactly what KindOf predicted: get a goal quickly, then sit on South Africa in the most Kirk Ferentzian/Iowan way possible. More red cards than goals and a bit of a slap fest, but hey: the host took a win at home. Vaminos!
MaximumSam: South Africa looked like the Bafana News Bears for much of the game. I forced my kids to watch with me, perhaps not the most beautiful example of the beautiful game.
Kind of...: Thanks for the props, boss! South Africa was pretty bad, so Mexico had more additional scoring opportunities after going up 1-0 than I expected. Successful opener. I haven't seen any reporting on if Mexico is appealing their red card. Donovan was pretty critical of that one on the broadcast, and I could see FIFA dropping it to a yellow. Then again, Mexico already has three points and is probably at 98% odds to advance right now, so maybe they don't even appeal.
South Korea 2 v Czechia 1
BoilerUp89: Snooze fest of a 1st half before things opened up in the 2nd. South Korea battled back from a 1-nil deficit to tie on a nifty fakeout. It then looked like then fell behind again minutes later, but the refs czech'd and it turned out that Czechia was offsides.
AlmaOtter: I didn't catch the first half, which seems to have been the correct choice. Second half was fun as hell. Lots of goals, lots of shots on goal, some fancy set pieces from Czechia, plus several terrible Czech puns in the open thread (mostly by me, sorry).
Kind of...: I didn't think the first half was that bad, but the second was obviously better. Czechs were game, but the gap in quality of play was wider than the odds and rankings would have led you to believe. Too early to say, but for now I'll be optimistic and conclude that means South Korea is pretty feisty.
Canada v Bosnia and Herzegovina
BMO Field, Toronto, Canada. 3:00 ET, 2:00 GTZ.
Kind of...: Okay, yesterday I declared that Iowa was the Mexico of B1G football. Or that Mexico is the Iowa of the World Cup. Maybe both. And I suggested that there's a CONCACAF comp for each team from the old B1G West.
If you were expecting Minnesota to be Canada, come on. It's not that simple, there's artistry to this shit. Canada is...Illinois. Canada is a sports-mad nation that features a(t least one) world class city. Chicago is one of the most sports-mad cities in the nation, and even the relative outposts in Illinois have produced some Illini legends. (Somebody can let me know what the Medicine Hat of Illinois is. But I'm pretty sure Chatham is the Moose Jaw.) However, both Canada and Illinois have found much more success in their primary winter sport than in the more popular football/futbol.
Getting more esoteric, consider two tidbits to seal this:
1) How easy is it to imagine Bielema as a hockey coach chirping at the opposing bench? Come on. Too easy. It's basically an upset that he hasn't already had a guest spot on Shoresy.
2) Spend too much time in/near Chambana, and somebody is going to start yapping to you about a horseshoe "sandwich," which, let's be real, is poor man's poutine.
MaximumSam: Bosnia AND Herzegovina? This is like the couple that hyphenates both their names, except it is in country form.
BoilerUp89: Are we not using the traditional team names? Canada are "Les Rouges". Bosnia and Herzegovina are the "Zmajevi". If you don't speak Canadian and don't follow Illinois basketball recruiting in the former Yugoslavia, that's "The Reds" and "The Dragons" respectively.
As a firm believer that Canada is the best of the three host countries currently (with Mexico running a clear second way ahead of third), I'm rooting for our northern neighbors to advance the furthest out of the three hosts.
AlmaOtter: I, at least technically speaking due to recent Canadian legal decisions, am technically a Canadian citizen (via 6 generations and probably some illegal immigration to the Upper Peninsula by my forebears).
But I've been on the Bosnia/Herzegovina train since 2014, in which I LOUDLY declared that they would make it out of the group stage. They didn't. But I like their chances this year nonetheless. Let's go Zmajevi! Roast those Canucks.
USA v Paraguay
SoFi Stadium, Inglewood, California. 9:00 ET, 8:00 GTZ.
Kind of...: Which makes the USA comp...Wisconsin. Wisconsin was the most successful B1G West school, but it always felt like they could have done more. Maybe you look at the 2010 loss to Ghana in the knockouts as akin to Wisconsin gacking away the 2016 B1G title game to Penn State. And Tim Howard's amazing performance in leading the USMNT to extra time before succumbing to a way more talented Belgium, sure seemed similar to the undefeated 2017 Badgers coming up just short of the CFP in their one-score loss to OSU.
Expanding the comp, the USMNT had a pretty clear identity from their 1994 breakthrough (Wisconsin's first Rose Bowl under Alvarez? 1993) until recently, even if it wasn't elegant to the soccer purists. It was a try-hard, bend but don't break on defense, and push down the middle the of field (pitch) when in possession. Gum things up and seize the moment when it appears. Pretty good recipe for beating teams you're supposed to even if the marquee wins are lacking. Sounds similar to the Paul Chryst era. (I'd love to give another long paragraph on Fickell = Pochettino, but, despite it all, I'm still cheering for the USMNT, and don't want to get too depressed writing that paragraph.)
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While we're at it:
Minnesota = Honduras. Better than you think (three World Cups; Fleck doesn't lose (almost always mid-tier) bowl games), but you can count the number of recent victories over the rival looking down on them (Mexico/Iowa) on one hand.
Northwestern = Costa Rica. Fantastic choice if you want beautiful views of water. Northwestern was recently pretty damn good (2018 and 2020 division champs). In 2014 Costa Rica WON a group that had England, Italy, AND Uruguay, and made the quarters! In both cases, it wasn't offense that saw the respective teams through. (Goalkeeper Keylor Navas was good enough to play for Real Madrid and PSG.) And both have fallen on harder times lately.
Nebraska = Panama. Prior to the arrival of the 4-PAC, Nebraska was the westernmost B1G school. Panama is pretty much the southernmost CONCACAF member. Further, in their 15 years in the B1G, Nebraska has only made one B1G title game...where they got blown out 70-31. Prior to qualifying this year, Panama had only appeared in one World Cup...where they were outscored 11-2 and finished 32nd of 32 teams.
Purdue = Jamaica. Fun style of play. Limited success. But a reasonable string of home upsets in qualifying. Dare we call them "Kingston Harbourings"? And, really, if there's a Jamaica of the Big Ten, it has to be West Lafayette, right?
MaximumSam: Calling the USA Wisconsin just makes me think that Luke Fickell is out there trying to get himself fired and failing constantly. I'd say he might show up but I don't think Wiscy pays him enough to afford these tickets.
BoilerUp89: US of A are "The Stars and Stripes", which honestly is a bit of a mouthful. Paraguay are "La Albirroja" - that's Spanish for The White and Red.
Is Kind of... trying to sell me on not rooting for USA by comparing them to wisconsin? To be honest I was sort of on the fence anyway. I know the US is home and I don't know much about Paraguay but what I do know about Paraguay is they love fireworks. That's pretty cool.
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