Northern Exposure: World Cup, Friday June 12
Maple Leaves and Dragons, Yanks and the Guarani
About Last Night/Afternoon
Canada 1, Bosnia 1, Herzegovina 0:
Kind of...: Canada played well enough to win over the last hour or so, but, well, poor defending on early set piece limited them to a draw. On the one hand, this is the first point Canada has scored in the World Cup (0-0-6 in two previous appearances...remember people, in futbol the record is listed W-T-L). On the other, Canada was held to a draw by an inferior team. Seven point will win them the group, but Switzerland is no pushover. As for Bosnia, they've set themselves us really well to advance if they can beat Qatar.
USA 4, Paraguay 1
Kind of...: The first half was magical. Damn. 3-0 and could've been worse. Never fun surrendering a goal, but if Germany had to settle with beating Brazil 7-1 instead of 7-0 in 2014, then I think we can all be okay with a commanding 4-1 win. Now you know who Folarin Balogun is. Two goals, the second of which was top shelf stuff. That said, Christian Pulisic was superb conducting things from the left side in the first half. Full control. Looks like he had one assist, but he deserves one for the own goal, too. As for the last goal, don't come in here with any weak sportsmanship talk. Reyna is mega-talented and it's great for him to be fully invested. No guarantees in life, but you might not have heard the last of him. Glad he scored.
Not-so-fun fact: The US has never scored more than 5 points in a group stage (i.e., has never won two group stage matches at the same World Cup). Halfway to changing that. Rest up and get ready for the Aussies.
Today's Schedule
Qatar v Switzerland
Levi's Stadium, Santa Clara, California. 3:00 ET, 2:00 GTZ. FOX.
Kind of...: I have no comps to make here. This is just a showdown of an old-school really rich country that remained neutral during WWII and a new-school really rich country that will play all sides of any geopolitical issue (how do you think they got the 2022 World Cup?). Hooray!
BoilerUp89: I'll be watching the Dayton Air Show during this game. Somehow I don't think I'll miss too much. How did Qatar qualify anyway? Or is this like the Olympics where they pay athletes from other countries to move to Qatar and compete under their flag?
Qatar are "Al-Annabi" or "The Maroons". The Swiss are "Nati" - short for Nationalmannschaft which means National Team. That's a really Germanic sounding name. Switzerland are also sometimes referred to as Rossocrociati - Italian for Red Crosses.
Brazil v Morocco.
MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford, NJ. 6:00 ET, 5:00 GTZ.
Kind of...: Okay, so we found a CONCACAF match for all of the B1G West teams, which means that the B1G East teams are the equivalent of...CONMEBOL. Which, yeah, that definitely checks out. Don't want to run this to 2,000 words, but let me explain:
MICHIGAN = BRAZIL: The color scheme. Winged helmets and yellow jerseys. The largely self-appointed declarations not just of excellence, but of historical uniqueness and transcendent importance implying a commitment to the sport at a higher moral and/or aesthetic level ("Michigan man," jogo bonito). Everybody else rolling their eyes and calling out this as bullshit. About 20-25 years of, if not living off of reputation, slowly coming to grips with the fact that realistic aspirations at the present are more "seeking to be in the top tier," not "being THE defining team."
OHIO STATE = ARGENTINA: No hypocrisy here. You conduct yourselves with mercenary sensibilities and really don't try to hide it. Whether it's Maradona's "hand of God" or Woody Hayes's hand finding a Clemson player, your defining historical figure spurs intense amounts of loathing from other fan bases, which you tend to use as fuel. But, where Maradona was built like a FB and Woody was three yards and a cloud of dust, you've both transformed yourselves. OSU is now a WR factory and Messi plays with an elegance and creativity that is unparalleled. Argentina had their own "John Cooper" period where, from 1994-2010, they never got further than the quarters. However, in 2014 they were runners-up while OSU won it all, and both hold recent titles.
PENN STATE = URUGUAY: You have a couple of championships and have been relevant recently, but it's clear to everybody, except maybe yourselves, that you're no longer a top tier power. I don't know that Uruguay has gone the #unrivaled route, but everybody knows a third wheel when they see one. At present, you both are still capable of doing some damage, but seemingly equally capable of flaming out. That said, Uruguay's group, and Penn State's 2026 schedule, both are all a fan could ask for, so expect some chest-puffing.
INDIANA = ??? (VENEZUELA): There's no good comp here and we all know it. 2025 Indiana was more like Leicester winning the EPL 10 years ago or something. But a theme is a theme, so, close your eyes and just listen to my voice: Venezuela has never MADE the World Cup. In 20 Copa America appearances they've only gotten out of the group stage 6 times, and never finished higher than fourth. Imagine Venezuela makes the finals of Copa America in 2028 and then wins the World Cup in 2030. You can't, right? But that's the best that I've got.
MICHIGAN STATE = CHILE: You've never gone all that long without being at least pretty good, for a while. But you've also never been elite for an extended period in recent history. Chile's first World Cup appearance was 1962, just before Duffy Daugherty nabbed a natty for the Spartans. And Chile's "golden era" was 2010-2016 (two World Cup knockout round appearances and their two Copa America titles), right when Dantonio had things at their peak. You can't take Chile lightly, but Chile also isn't winning the World Cup anytime soon.
MARYLAND = PARAGUAY: Eight world cup appearances. A high point with four consecutive appearances from 1998-2010 (largely overlapping Ralph Friedgen's time as HC with the Terps). And a uniform ("kit") history that makes definitive the appropriateness of this comp. Yes, Paraguay is one of only two landlocked nations in South American and Maryland is very much NOT landlocked. But, then again, the Terps left the ACC for more money, so it's not like they valued that water-based connection anyway. And, though you may not have guessed, Paraguay is one of the world's largest producers of soybeans, which is very on brand if you're going to be in the B1G.
RUTGERS = BOLIVIA: Much like Rutgers's claim to fame ("birthplace of college football") is a right place/right time, there-were-only-like-21-states-at-the-time sort of claim, so too should you take the fact that Bolivia played in the inaugural World Cup in 1930 (where they were outscored 8-0 and finished 12th of 13 teams, and would've been 13th, but they were in a three team group and Mexico was in a four team group). They made the 1950 World Cup which had two four-team groups, a three-team group, and a two-team group consisting of Uruguay and...Bolivia. Uruguay won 8-0, so Bolivia got one match out of the deal and finished dead last. Sound like 2016 Rutgers? Yeah, I agree. There was the 1994 appearance the last time the US hosted. Bolivia managed a draw with South Korea (scoreless, of course) and finished 21 out of 24! That was their shining moment. Definitely has a 2006 Rutgers sort of feel to it if you ask me.
BoilerUp89: The Brazil national soccer squad has a billion nicknames but my favorite is Canarinho or Little Canary. Morocco are The Atlas Lions which is a fantastic team name. Morocco are ranked 7th in the FIFA rankings, their highest all-time!
Haiti v Scotland.
Gillette Stadium, Foxborough, Massachusetts. 9:00 ET, 8:00 GTZ.
Kind of...: The only reason you're watching is because it's the only thing on. And, well, it's not. There's Game 5 of the NBA Finals. So...if you're the sort of person that would rather watch Rutgers/Eastern Michigan than an NFL conference championship game, go ahead. But I have my limits.
BoilerUp89: Well, I'll be watching this because I'm genuinely curious what Haiti's soccer team looks like. They are the only nation from the Caribbean to ever qualify twice. Again we have multiple nicknames to chose from so I'll chose Les Grenadiers. The Scottish don't actually have at team nickname (boo, hiss) but their supporters are called the Tartan Army.
Australia v Turkiye.
BC Place, Vancouver, British Columbia, 12:00 ET, 11:00 GTZ
Kind of...: That's right, midnight Eastern. But...it's 9:00 Pacific and 2:00 pm in most of civilized Australia [AO: is there such a place?], and 7:00 am in Turkiye. Fine, you win this one, FIFA. Well-considered.
And, frankly, this is an important match. There's no traditional power in the USMNT's group, but there aren't any minnows, either. No easy 3 points. Four points will almost certainly see a team through (unless that gets you a tie for third in your group), and I think somebody is getting through with three points. If you are cheering for the home team and you want to live dangerously, pull for the Aussie upset. But if you want to be middle-of-the-road strategic, cheer for a draw here.
BoilerUp89: Go Socceroos! Turkey are Ay-Yıldızlılar, which translates to "The Crescent-Stars"
