MNW: It's incredibly possible that both RMB and myself have phoned this week in. I haven't filled out the picks sheet and will just be making text picks then going back later; he doesn't have the leaderboard ready.
Can we blame the transition to OTR? I think that seems reasonable. Yeah. It's all Alma Otter's fault this onboarding is going poorly – we need to be nurtured and loved, AO!
Anyway.
I stopped a real, live Mississippi State fan in the wild yesterday, with a full-on weathered MSU bumper sticker on a Minnesota-plated car. No way this person had just come up for the game; they're a local.
It got me thinking: how do you go from Starkville to Minneapolis?
(Not in the DWT;WT sense, mind you; I didn't look up any train tickets or elaborate budget and/or EAS carriers.)
Then again, it's not that implausible: my late aunt left the East Side of St. Paul in 1980 to take a scholarship at the Southern Miss conservatory in Hattiesburg. Played beautifully all her life before health issues took her from us too soon. But the stories my mom and grandma recount about moving her in...I didn't fully understand them until I worked in the Gulf South for a year. That's a different place, man.
And so they're giving me the light – I've got to go. But those culture and climate shocks: of CLANGA coming to Minneapolis (and, excitingly, the Gophers returning the favor); of Ohio State trucking into Texas and Oklahoma to Ann Arbor; of Puddles & Co. hopping in a boat and paddling their way to Stillwater to meet the Pokes – that's what the college football non-conference schedule should be. Bring on more of the Northwestern-Colorado home-and-home, of Wake Forest needing to learn what and where a Purdue is, of Penn State playing a "roadie" at Temple to appease the Philly fanbase. Do more of it.
About Last Week
RMB: I don't know. Some stuff happened. See there's this python script I use to tabulate results and create a leaderboard and stuff, but every year I have to 1) find it, and 2) remember how to use it. This week that just wasn't gonna happen. Sorry.
Next week for sure!*
*unless not
Picks
Friday, Sept 11
Rutgers Scarlet Knights @ Boston College Eagles
6:30pm | ESPN2 | BC -3 | O/U:54.5
Thumpasaurus: Two teams with talented RB’s that will go overlooked because they’ll be playing from behind all year. I’ll take Evan Dickens and BC over poor Antwan Raymond.
BRT: I know the trendy pic (and maybe smart one) is BC because of Recent Rutgers Events, but I have to think they'll get their act together. Right? If not, lol.
Buffkomodo: I mean how can you honestly pick Rutger after that shameful performance last week? I mean if Schiano has a pulse left as a head coach, they’ll win, but you can’t pick them to win.
IUinVA: Big East football at its finest. No thank you.
HoustonBoiler: This is your sicko game of the week. I’m betting on Rutgers just throwing the ball to KJ Duff on every play.
Transient Buckeye: Maybe UMass is genuinely much better this year? I mean, I doubt it, but we won’t know for sure for a few more weeks. Give me BC to win and cover.
Misdreavus79: If this were 3.5 I’d pick Rutgers, but I can’t in good conscience pick them to win outright after last week’s debacle, even if they’re probably better than the embarrassment they just went through. Boston College 23, Rutgers 17
RockyMtnBlue: Rutgers made Michigan look good last week. You know how impossible that is??? Doug Flutie U 31-20
MNW: Boston College is rolling with Saginaw Valley State transfer QB Mason McKenzie, whose strategy in a 34-15 loss to Cincy appeared to be "just run around and do shit." That...uh...good be enough against Rutgers?
The Knights have the offensive pieces, though, to pull this off on the road. Let's say they do, just for shits and giggles. Rutgers, 28-21.
Saturday, Sept 12
(6) Oregon Ducks @ Oklahoma State Cowboys
11:00am | ESPN | Oregon -22.5 | O/U:57.5
Thumpasaurus: Oregon won this by 66 points last year. Ok State doesn’t look vastly improved with a loss against Tulsa to their name
BRT: Probably won't go great for Okie Lite.
Buffkomodo: Oregon smash.
IUinVA: Ducks by a million. If you hate Oklahoma State (hey, I don’t know who’s reading this), then be sure to tune in.
HoustonBoiler: While I’m sure Oregon would prefer to play the other orange OSU, they settle for beating the snot out of this one.
Transient Buckeye: Oregon’s whole team is grown men! They’re gonna win by 40!
Misdreavus79: Nothing like Oklahoma State to cure what ails you! Oregon 55, Oklahoma State 2
RockyMtnBlue: Last week was a little blip, but Oregon is still really good. Oklahoma State is still really not. Oregon 34-7
MNW: Okie Lite lost to Tulsa. Drew Meestemaker might be finding his ceiling, or perhaps Eric Morris just needs some time to rev up the offense in Stillwater.
Still, Oregon gave up 27 to Boise, so perhaps we shouldn't count out the Pokes' ability to put up a few. Ducks, 45-21.
(11) Oklahoma Sooners @ Michigan Wolverines
11:00am | FOX | Oklahoma -5.5 | O/U:43.5
Thumpasaurus: I’m much more worried about this now that karma requires Oklahoma to beat the living piss out of Michigan. If you live in the US right now you know that if anything, the opposite of karma is real. Nevertheless, the Sooner defense is too good.
BRT: Boomer Sooner. God, what a gross game.
Buffkomodo: It might not actually be gross. I was too young to truly cherish how awful Rich Rod was and this might be the second coming of that, even if it is an SEC team splattering Michigan. (Sorry Dan and Brian <3)
IUinVA: Michigan has to be riding high after overcoming so much adversity in Week 1. Ok, but seriously, this is a “fade the public” pick. I imagine that ~90% of the public is putting their money on Oklahoma. Michigan gives a much better performance, but just isn’t good enough to win. Sooners by 3.
HoustonBoiler: How will Michigan shit the bed this week.
Transient Buckeye: I think Michigan comes out and plays a lot better in Week 2 than they did in Week 1. Problem is, they could play a lot better and still get boat-raced, because they were dogshit last week. Sooners win and cover.
Misdreavus79: Michigan with the overreaction special! Oklahoma 20, Michigan 17
RockyMtnBlue:
Oh IUinVA and misdreavus. I hope those are just reverse jinx calls.
Michigan’s offense is REALLY BAD, y’all. Well, mostly it’s Bryce Underwood, but QB is kinda important, ya know? Underwood played by far his worst game as a Wolverine last week against the WESTERN MICHIGAN BRONCOS. What’s it gonna look like this week against a Brent Venables defense? Michigan’s defense would be alright if the offense could keep the ball for half the game. I put the O/U on Michigan ToP at 17 minutes. HAMMER that under, kids. Oklahoma 20-2
MNW: I neither know nor care what either of these teams are doing. Michigan's bad, probably? Oklahoma's got a piss-hot defense? Sure. Sooners, 20-10.
(16) Penn State Nitany Lions @ Temple Owls
11:00am | ESPN2 | PSU -23.5 | O/U:49.5
Thumpasaurus: Temple doesn’t look too lively at this time.
BRT: What time is this game? Nap time.
Buffkomodo: Penn State. Next.
IUinVA: This game is actually being played at the Eagles stadium. I’m being told that no one cares.
HoustonBoiler: One of my all-time favorite gifs is from the Temple (at home) two man pass rush beating six Penn State blockers to sack Christian Hackenberg. While I can dream, it won’t be happening this week. Penn State wins and covers.
Transient Buckeye: Damn, HB beat me to the “two man pass rush .gif” reference. Replaying that .gif will be the only joy Temple fans are going to have this weekend.
Misdreavus79: I reckon this offensive line is a tad better than the one with two converted defensive linemen. Temple.
RockyMtnBlue: Seven days ago, I looked at Penn State and Michigan, both with new coaching staffs and felt one of those teams might be kinda good, but I didn’t have a lot of faith in the other one. That sentence is still true. Penn State 42-14
MNW: Oh wow, did Temple once beat the Penn State offensive line with a two-man pass rush? I hadn't seen that gif at all in the last 14 years.
Former Penn State QB Jaxon Smolik leads the Owls into this one as part of a two-QB setup with dual-threat Ajani Sheppard. I don't think it's going to go quite so well for him; there's a fair chance Penn State still hasn't allowed a point going into next week. Lions, 38-7.
Wake Forest Demon Deacons @ Purdue Boilermakers
11:00am | FS1 | Wake -3 | O/U:49.5
Thumpasarus: This could be Purdue’s chance at an FBS win. But they won’t do it.
BRT: Choo choo.
Buffkomodo: I think I picked Wake out of spite, but honestly Purdue might have a legit shot here.
IUinVA: In Week 1, these teams combined for 20 penalties for 200 yards, while also gaining 1,082 yards. Ok, this one could be fun.
HoustonBoiler: This should be a close game, but I fear Purdue will find the banana peel. Wake Forest wins and covers. Prove me wrong Boilers and make me a believer!
Fun fact - Wake Forest QB Gio Lopez and Purdue QB Ryan Browne were briefly teammates at North Carolina in the Spring of 2025. After spring ball, Browne transferred back to Purdue and Lopez transferred to Wake Forest after the 2025 season.
Transient Buckeye: Middle ACC team vs. Big Ten bottom feeder. I think this one goes to the middling ACC team.
Misdreavus79: Home dogs FTW. Purdue 33, Wake Forest 28
RockyMtnBlue: Pretty much what misdreavus said, but with a lot less competence on offense. Purdue 19-17
MNW: Jake Dickert isn't a bad coach, and Gio Lopez is a good quarterback without the Belichick stink on him. That doesn't spell good things for Purdue. Wake Forest, 34-25.
Utah State Aggies @ (19) Washington Huskies
2:30pm | BTN | UDub -26.5 | O/U:55.5
Thumpasaurus: There was a time when Utah State was a pretty live opponent, but those times have passed us by.
BRT: This is why I am more of a VB fan. Every game is more interesting than this schizz.
Buffkomodo: Washington offense looked poopy last week.
IUinVA: Utah State had some ugly offensive stats in a Week 1 loss at home to FCS Idaho State. This game could be like the old, vibrating tabletop football game where Utah State is all bunched in a circle and Washington can score at will, as long as they run in the correct direction.
HoustonBoiler: The Huskies enjoy their chew toy (and cover).
Transient Buckeye: That’s a big number for a Washington team that looked like they couldn’t cover against air last weekend. They probably get it, but this feels like a game where you should hammer the under.
Misdreavus79: Utah State lost to who?! Washington 45, Utah State 10
RockyMtnBlue: Bet on UDub to cover at home. Always. Washington 38-7
MNW: Idaho State, misdreavus (just because our readers aren't looking it up. Or reading this, for that matter). Absolutely incredible stuff.
Anyway good luck to the Aggies against a Washington squad that should be able to score for fun. Huskies, 44-17.
Mississippi State Bulldogs @ Minnesota Golden Gophers
2:30pm | CBS | Miss St -1.5 | O/U:55.5
Thumpasaurus: If this approaches the over it’s probably bad for Minnesota, but I think they’ll run the ball well
BRT: I get most things from Mississippi confused with each other, mostly because I think Mississippi as a state doesn't deserve the effort of differentiation. I don't know if they're good or not. I also don't know if Minnesota is, though I do at least know where their school is.
Buffkomodo: I enjoy PJ Fleck. I want Minny to win because fuck the SEC. Let’s see what happens.
IUinVA: Mississippi State put up some downright scary stats in Week 1. I’ll cheer for you, Golden Gophers, but I can’t pick you in this one.
HoustonBoiler: This should be another close game, but I think Clanga has just enough to win and cover.
Transient Buckeye: I’m gambling on home field advantages and Clanga’s discomfort with playing north of the Mason-Dixon line to get the Gophers across the finish line with a “W.”
Misdreavus79: Row row row your boat something something something! Minnesota 6, Mississippi State 1
RockyMtnBlue: I want to believe, Minny. I want to. But I don’t. Bulldogs 24-21
MNW: Oh hey, a chance for PJ Fleck to sit on the ball and take the air out of a game? WELL LOOKIE HERE.
Should be a beautiful day for it, and I don't think the Bulldogs really want to deal with the Gopher rush attack. Ball won't be in Kamario Taylor's hands enough, and a late CLANGA drive falls short. Minnesota, 24-21.
Duke Blue Devils @ Illinois Fighting Illini
2:30pm | FS1 | Illinois -6 | O/U:51.5
Thumpasaurus: Sure the Illini lost their QB and top receiver, but Duke lost a better QB and top receiver!
BRT: Brt for Bert, I guess.
Buffkomodo: Illinois I guess?
IUinVA: Illinois lost TOP by 22 minutes in Week 1, yet won by 19. The ACC was so happy with Duke winning the conference last season that they changed their tiebreaker rules. Illinois by two scores.
HoustonBoiler: Illinois will win but Duke hangs around and covers.
Transient Buckeye: This would be a hell of a basketball game. Upper-mid-tier Big Ten team vs. Defending ACC Champion has to favor the Big Ten team, right?
Misdreavus79: That offense was bad bad. Illinois 21, Duke 7
RockyMtnBlue: I don’t know shit about these teams, but it just feels like this should be Illinois by 10, right? I mean, using the force worked for Luke! Illinois 27-17
MNW: Duke ain't your slightly older brother's Duke. Bert continues apace. Illini, 24-14.
Eastern Michigan Eagles @ Michigan State Spartans
2:30 | BTN | MSU -17.5 | O/U:49.5
Thumpasaurus: Reiterating my stance from the Survivor Pool thread, Noah Kim is the worst onetime MSU starting QB that will be involved in an MSU game this year. I think Toledo is better than Eastern, but how do you trust Pat Fitzgerald to cover that spread?!
BRT: Agree with Thump. MSU may win rather easily, but the Fitz leopard isn't changing his spots.
Buffkomodo: I…uh…really will be pulling for Eastern Michigan.
IUinVA: Go Green, Go White (I recently learned that EMU uses this cheer as well). White scores a little, Green scores comfortably more.
HoustonBoiler: I’m with Thump and BRT, MSU wins but Eastern covers.
Transient Buckeye: Man, there are a lot of games in this conference. I should just start writing free verse. MSU will win, but maybe there’s a bit of a Week 2 letdown and the Emus cover?
Misdreavus79: Seventeen and a half? Hell no! Michigan State 24, Eastern Michigan 17
RockyMtnBlue: MSU gonna show big brother how to handle directional Michigan. Sparty 31-10
MNW: You're just tempting me with that hook, Vegas. And I will take it. Sparty, 34-17.
Maryland Terrapins @ UConn Huskies
2:30pm | CBSSN | Maryland -12.5 | O/U:52.5
Thumpasaurus: Still September
BRT: 🍂
Buffkomodo: Is UConn good? They have red jerseys now. They have a good coach. Also, why is this at UConn? WYD turtles?
IUinVA: I’m having a hard time getting past Malik Washington only throwing for 6 yards/attempt against Hampton. I recognize that it’s September, but Connecticut’s program has juice, Maryland’s does not. I’ll take the Huskies outright.
HoustonBoiler: I think Jason Candle will have the Huskies playing better than they have in recent years. Maryland wins, but UConn covers.
Transient Buckeye: Still September, so Maryland will still be in murder mode. Terps win and cover.
Misdreavus79: Take it away Green Day! Maryland 51, UConn 0
RockyMtnBlue: @BRT wait, UConn has red jerseys? Is nothing sacred anymore? Anyway it’s still Maryland in September. I love teams that give me simple rules for picking games. Maryland 31-17
MNW: Jason Candle is a good coach. But Mike Locksley in September is damn near undefeated. It is a temporal anomaly and I will simply not pick against it until the calendar forces me to. Maryland, 32-27.
Bowling Green Falcons @ Nebraska Cornhuskers
6:00pm | FS1 | Nebraska -28.5 | O/U:51.5
Thumpasaurus: Bowling Green is absolutely dreadful.
BRT: I hope we cover, and our offense seemed reasonably competent last week. I am, however, a seasoned Nebraska fan, and I choose restraint in my hopes.
Buffkomodo: Rhule rules in this one.
IUinVA: BGSU gave up 7.8 yds/rush in a Week 1 loss at home to FCS Tarleton State. Huskers in a rout.
HoustonBoiler: The combines roll this week.
Transient Buckeye: BGSU just lost to a British Revolutionary War general. Not even Pudge could soothe away the stench from that one. Huskers roll big.
Misdreavus79: Bowling Green lost to who? Nebrasker 48, Bowling Green 6
RockyMtnBlue: Reading these other comments, my pick is looking pretty silly. But changing it would be cheating so… Nebraska 42-14
MNW: Unfortunately that's not the Tarleton (Banastre) that Bowling Green lost to – the Texas school is just some dumbass land speculator who gave the school some land. And also had a pet duck, apparently.
Rubber ducks and Purple Poo, that's what Tarleton does. (And beat Bowling Green wire-to-wire.) Nebraska names their score, and I name it 45-10.
San Diego State Aztecs @ UCLA Bruins
6:15pm | BTN | UCLA -11.5 | O/U:54.5
Thumpasaurus: Bruins run game looked like Chip Kelly Oregon last week against what’s supposed to be a stellar defense
Buffkomodo: I guess UCLA if you’re twisting my arm.
IUinVA: I’ll hop on the Chesney express.
HoustonBoiler: I wish Purdue would have hired Chesney a year earlier. UCLA wins and covers.
Transient Buckeye: UCLA should win this one comfortably. If they do, they’ll stay on pace to overperform my preseason expectations for them.
Misdreavus79: I don’t see why not. UCLA 28, San Diego State 10
RockyMtnBlue: I caught about 7 minutes of the UCLA game last week and they looked pretty decent. If 31 years in corporate America taught me anything, it’s to extrapolate like mad on tiny data sets. UCLA 35-17
MNW: I just can't believe the San Diego State thing isn't gonna click at some point under Sean Lewis. Guy can coach an offense, and what kid doesn't wanna go to San Diego for school? (Unless this is some weird cultural thing like Georgia Southern where the ONLY thing that works is GATA West, wherein you need Rocky Long and/or Brady Hoke scowling and winning games 10-7 with a quarterback who is 6'7" and runs like the wind but shits his pants every time he drops back to throw.
UCLA's offense should eke this out, is my point. Bruins, 27-24.
(1) Ohio State Buckeyes @ (4) Texas Longhorns
6:30pm | ABC | Texas -1.5 | O/U:49.5
Thumpasaurus: Bury these frauds.
BRT: How is there a grosser game than Michigan - Oklahoma this week? Ye gods.
Buffkomodo: I think we can all agree we hate Ohio State? But I mean for the love of all that’s holy if an asteroid can’t take them both out, we’d prefer to see the bucks put Sark on the hot seat.
IUinVA: I think OSU is a better team and is better coached (by a wide margin), but home field advantage may be a factor. This sport is dumb and these are college players. Texas by 3 and is therefore, “back.”
HoustonBoiler: Sadly, the meteor was not an option so I went with Texas to win and cover.
Transient Buckeye: Had this as a Texas win in my preseason predictions, and nothing from last week gave me reason to change my mind. I don’t think either team gets blown out, but Texas gets the win and covers the (tiny) spread.
Misdreavus79: Words. Ohio State 27, Texas 24
RockyMtnBlue: What BRT said. Also what misdreavus said. But also OSU is winning the natty this year. Ohio State 31-24
MNW: nah, OSU 34-31.
Iowa State Cyclones @ (21) Iowa Hawkeyes
6:30pm | NBC | Iowa -14 | O/U:40.5
Thumpasaurus: I have no idea how good Iowa State is going to be with half their team in Happy Valley
BRT: You hate to see it, but Iowa looked pretty solid last week (against lousy competition, but still.)
Buffkomodo: Iowa looked really solid last week.
IUinVA: Under
HoustonBoiler: Given the coaching change in Ames, Iowa wins but Iowa State covers. Definitely take the under! It’s ¡El Assico! for a reason.
Transient Buckeye: Iowa looked good last weekend, and Iowa State is just the desiccated husk of the program they were last season. The Hawkeyes should roll. They won’t, because El Assico, but they should still win, even if ISU covers.
Misdreavus79: South East Washington State ain’t got the firepower. Iowa 35, SEWazzou 3
RockyMtnBlue: Matt Campbell ain’t there anymore. The world is robbed of the joy that ugly, stupid El Assico games brought us. Iowa 34-7
MNW: Good hire over time for the Clones, I think, but Iowa's rolling early. Hawkeyes, 35-10.
Louisiana Ragin' Cajuns @ USC Trojans
10:00pm | BTN | USC -30.5 | O/U:59.5
Thumpasaurus: Someone get USC a real opponent please
BRT: Boring AF. And it doesn't even start until 10pm central.
Buffkomodo: I’m falling asleep thinking about this.
IUinVA: Southern Cal enjoyed their latest rout and have a desire to keep chasing those vibes. There is a zero percent chance that I’m still awake for kickoff.
HoustonBoiler: I’ll be asleep while USC woofs down their latest cupcake.
Transient Buckeye: “Louisianna” would make a great name for a character in a sitcom set in the old west, wouldn’t it? Or is that just me?
Misdreavus79: Oh good god I’m done! USC 55, ULL (yes, ULL) 10
RockyMtnBlue: Imagine my disappointment when I was setting up this week’s picks sheet and learned Louisiana is, in fact, BCS, and so I had to include this game. USC by a billion.
MNW: Jesus we're finally done. Thank god. Trojans, 49-11.
Too Cowardly To Play
Northwestern Wildcats
Too Cowardly To Play a Division I team
Howard @ Indiana - 11am BTN
Western Illinois @ Wisconsin - 6:15pm BTN
