Have we enjoyed our time away from Outlook? I think I'm supposed to technically have a call with some students this morning, but I've had no way of sending them anything with the Zoom links. What's better, none of them actually learn how to use the D2L messaging function. Oh no! I'm just going to have to do my own work instead of students complaining about not having done the reading.
Thanks, Outlook!
Anyway, these games suck. There's just not much more to it than that.
What's more frustrating is that, even at the start of the season or at the peak of each team's expectations, which of these games would you have expected would've been good? By my math...
- Michigan-Oregon (before the season)
- USC-Indiana (at basically any point)
- Minnesota-Penn State (if you squinted, got really drunk, and also were a Governor's Victory Bell fanatic)
That's it. That's the lineup. Enjoy these picks, because good god were they painful to make.
About Last Week
Thoughts
- Well that sucked. Only 1/3 of writers finished the week .500, and only one had a winning record.
- Congrats AlmaOtter! You're the ONE writer who managed to get more right than wrong.
- We were even worse picking straight-up (which is supposed to be easier!). DeadRead was the ONE writer to manage to go .500 picking straight up.
Picks
(all times Central because reasons)
Friday, November 13
Illinois Fighting Illini @ (4) UCLA Bruins
8pm | FOX | UCLA -10 | O/U: 46.5
ATS: UCLA 11-2 | Straight Up: UCLA 12-1
Thumpasaurus: There’s just no way they can keep it up…is there?
Transient Buckeye: In Champaign, the game might be cold, and that might impact UCLA. Might. But on the West Coast? I don’t see it. Bruins win and cover
IUinVA: No reason to hop off the Chesney express.
RockyMtnBlue: Illinois doesn’t suck, but UCLA is actually good. Or at least I keep telling myself that we have at least one team that would have finished in the top 5 of the conference 4 years ago. UCLA 24-10
MNW: I'm never picking against UCLA again. Just can't do it. It makes no sense to me, but I'm just going to have to embrace it.
Whatever, my team's never making the playoffs, who gives a shit. Bruins, 36-18.
Saturday, November 14
Northwestern Wildcats @ (20) Ohio State Buckeyes
11am | FOX | OSU -12.5 | O/U: 47.5
ATS: Northwestern 9-4 | Straight Up: OSU 11-2
Thumpasaurus: Been saying Nern is better than OSU, why back down with OSU on a two game losing streak just because Nern is too? Nern at least hung in there with Oregon.
Transient Buckeye: There’s no reason to feel optimistic about OSU’s prospects against anyone with a pulse, but they still have the vastly more talented roster. That’s gotta show up sooner or later, right? OSU wins, Northwestern covers.
IUinVA: The ‘Cats are feisty and should be able to keep this within that number.
RockyMtnBlue: OSU has talent and now has anger. And it’s in the hellscape that is the Horseshoe. Ohio State 31-13
MNW: Not gonna be close, gang. Northwestern can't stop OSU's playmakers and gets worn down on the ground again. Buckeyes, 35-14.
Wisconsin Badgers @ Maryland Terrapins
11am | FS1 | Wisconsin -8.5 | O/U: 43.5
ATS: Wisconson 11-2 | Straight Up: Wisconsin 12-1
Thumpasaurus: Iowa game notwithstanding, Wisconsin gets puzzlingly little respect for how good their results have been. Are they or aren’t they 6-3?
Transient Buckeye: Maryland got their Big Ten win last weekend, so that’s out of the way. Can they make it two? I don’t think so. They’ll get the cover at home, but the Badgers will get the win.
IUinVA: This is a bad matchup for Maryland. Badgers roll.
RockyMtnBlue: I’ve been picking plucky upsets all year. I’ve learned my lesson. Maryland is bad. Wisconsin 28-12
MNW: lmao they deserve no respect, Thump.
The Hopkins Era, whatever the fuck that is, has apparently begun in madison. Not a bad gig, getting to start your career starting games against Rutgers and Maryland. Like if "Make-A-Wish" existed for college quarterbacks. badgers, 35-8.
Nebraska Cornhuskers @ Rutgers Scarlet Knights
11:30am | BTN | Nebraska -13.5 | O/U: 52.5
ATS: Rutgers 9-4 | Straight Up: Nebraska 11-2
Thumpasaurus: You never want to middle a Nebraska favorite. This time, I’ll take the Huskers to Do The Damn Thing, though this is kind of dependent on the status of Rutgers’ QB and ace receiver.
Transient Buckeye: Since I’m an idiot, I’m going to be middling a Nebraska favorite. Huskers win, but they are sufficient Unprepared for Rutgers that the Scarlet Knights will get the cover.
IUinVA: I have more confidence in Rutgers being pesky than Nebraska covering a two touchdown spread.
RockyMtnBlue: See my comments about Wisconsin/Maryland. Nebraska 28-12
MNW: Wow, really? I middled this? I figured Rutgers had given up by now.
Oh well, I suppose Nebraska should be hypothetically competent enough that they could close, but perhaps the exciting news that Greg Schiano is back for another year in Piscataway motivates the Knights, rather than the altnerative, which would be much more reasonable. Huskers, 27-17.
(18) USC Trojans @ (9) Indiana Hoosiers
2:30pm | CBS | Indiana -7.5 | O/U: 49.5
ATS: Indiana 7-6 | Straight Up: Indiana 12-1
Thumpasaurus: Indiana is still very good. USC is not that good. Hoosiers should roll here even if Cig is washed.
Transient Buckeye: Indiana’s defense is very good, and that should be enough to lift them to the win. Their offense has been ten kinds of awful for a month now. This will be a Big Ten West rock fight. Hoosiers win, but the Trojans keep it close.
IUinVA: Indiana is 8-1 straight up, and 1-8 against the spread. I’ll follow the trend.
RockyMtnBlue: The one good game of the week. I wish it were in the noon slot. Maybe then I’d watch it. Still, following my theme of “pick the favorite to cover”: Indiana 34-24
MNW: Took everything in my power not to take the Trojans, but I really wouldn't be stunned if they pulled the upset. Indiana, 24-21.
Michigan Wolverines @ (16) Oregon Ducks
2:30pm | FS1 | Oregon -11.5 | O/U: 8.5
ATS: Oregon 12-1 | Straight Up: All Ducks
Thumpasaurus: Somehow Michigan’s gonna find a way to slow them down just enough, but not enough to win.
Transient Buckeye: Either Oregon turned around their season last weekend, or they shot their bolt. Michigan feels dead right now, though. Maybe their defense can keep them in the game, but 11.5 isn’t that big a spread, and Eugene is Eugene. Ducks win and cover.
IUinVA: If Michigan can score 10 points, they’ll probably cover. Well, that seals my pick. Oregon covers.
RockyMtnBlue: I can only assume Thump is reverse-jinxing this. I don’t blame him, but it really isn’t necessary. I’m not exaggerating when I say I’d bet half my net worth on Oregon to cover if it I could (and if winnings were tax-free). Oregon 24-0
MNW: Gross. Oregon, 24-10.
Washington Huskies @ Michigan State Spartans
3:15pm | BTN | Washington -3 | O/U: 42.5
ATS: MSU 7-6 | Straight Up: Washington 7-6
Thumpasaurus: Wildly divergent locker rooms. MSU may finally have some belief in theirs, while Washington just seems confused.
Transient Buckeye: I’m picking Washington to win and cover in this one. But that means I’m picking a Jedd Fisch team to go on the road and win as a favorite, against a team that’s playing far spunkier than they have any business doing, given how their season has gone. Sticking with the pick, but I don’t like it.
IUinVA: Screw it, Spartans go on a winning streak.
RockyMtnBlue: Gotta pick one upset, so this is it. Maybe MSU rides the excitement of upsetting their rival in their own building to a winning streak. It could happen. Or maybe they get hammer-fucked, and it just puts Michigan’s historical-level dysfunction in stark relief. Yeah, I’ll pick the one that makes me feel less bad. Michigan State 21-20
MNW: Groooooooooooss. Washington, 16-9.
Minnesota Golden Gophers @ Penn State Nittany Lions
6pm | FS1 | PSU -9.5 | O/U: 43.5
ATS: Minnesota 11-2 | Straight Up: Minnesota 8-5
Thumpasaurus: Evidence tells me Minnesota is better than Penn State. What am I missing?
Transient Buckeye: That was my thought, too. I thought I was reading the line wrong. But if you’re going to give me 9.5 to pick the team I think is better anyway? Sure.
IUinVA: 9.5?!! Give me Minnesota to win this straight up.
RockyMtnBlue: Remember when PSU looked like an even bigger clown show than Michigan. Those were the days. Penn State 21-10
MNW: Jesus Christ how many of these games are you going to make me pick??? Aren't any of them good???
What's annoying about these games is that PJ Fleck goes into them just hoping to take the air out of the ball and no-lube fuck their way to a 14-7 win. Nittany Lions, 24-17.
Purdue Boilermakers @ (15) Iowa Hawkeyes
6:30pm | NBC | Iowa -17.5 | O/U: 47.5
ATS: Iowa 9-3 | Straight Up: All Iowa
Thumpasaurus: This ain’t Jeff Brohm Purdue.
Transient Buckeye: This game will be unwatchable even for Iowa fans. But they’ll do enough to win and cover.
IUinVA: That’s a huge number, but you can’t stop Iowa when they’re rolling downhill.
glass: With the start of basketball season, the bot collective has mercifully checked all the way out of cfb for the rest of 2026.
RockyMtnBlue: I’m deathly jealous of Iowa’s offense. There I said it. And now I expect the world to end. Iowa 35-10
MNW: Whatever. Iowa, 28-7.
