Monday May 11 Links and Banter

It’s Friday at the ACBN, and I’m working with what I’ve got.

MENDOZA, ARGENTINA—Announcing that they had made an astounding once-in-a-lifetime discovery, a team of archaeologists from Rutgers University Thursday reportedly uncovered a separate team of archaeologists digging toward them from the other side of the globe. “While our initial assumption was that we had stumbled on the previously unknown descendants of some ancient race of upside-down people, it turns out that this was a group of Canadian and Chinese archaeologists who had dug through the center of the Earth from a site in Mongolia,” said lead archaeologist Denise Mendoza, adding that the newly discovered archaeologists were like her own team in many respects and even used many of the same tools. “At first, we thought we were looking in a mirror, but as we moved our hands back and forth with these subterranean natives, we realized that we were actually from two different sides of the planet. We have a lot to learn from this group and their ways of tunneling through the earth, so we’ve brought in teams of anthropologists to attempt to speak to them in their own tongue in order to glean information into their way of life. It appears that, much like us, they also use small brushes to clean dust and debris from artifacts. Ultimately, we’re hopeful that this is discovery will offer crucial additions to our understanding of how they do archaeological work elsewhere on the planet.” The archaeological team added that it had had to tread carefully after one of the members of the team fell in love with one of the archaeologists who had dug through from the other side of the globe.