World Cup Recaps and Previews, Saturday July 11: Last Call Before the Semis
ROW v Hairy Cane, Chimichurri v Fondue
Monday? No, I don't think I will.
Today’s Tidbit... That Time The Brits Wanted Us To Give Up Football
In 1882, the British Football Club tried convincing us to give up our game and return to Rugby Union, but we kept calm and carried on.
Football Archaeology
Here Are Some Animals I Think It Would Be Cool To Be, Situationally Speaking
Food, drink, music, books, pets and more? It’s Friday at the ACBN!
Scott Hines
Oil Prices Plummet In Big Fuck-You To Americans Who Got Gas Yesterday
WASHINGTON—In what is being characterized as a massive middle finger to millions of furious motorists, oil prices plummeted Friday, delivering a big fuck-you to all the Americans who gassed up their vehicles yesterday. “Nobody was hit harder than the suckers who filled their tanks mere hours before the ceasefire between Israel and Lebanon caused the […]
The Onion Staff
Some job news: I now work in the newly-established Federal Department of Metaphors. How are we doing so far?
— Ken Tremendous (@kentremendous.bsky.social) 2026-04-18T19:57:14.770Z
