HAT HAT HAT HAT HAT WEEK

Is this rivalry a real thing?

Umm. If familiarity breeds contempt, then yes! As I noted in last year's rivalry ranking (which I should probably continue and/or finish this summer), if you make it over 100 games played, you deserve to be a capital R Rivalry. The century mark does count for a lot. Illinois-Northwestern have done this thing 119 times. It ranks only below the Axe, the Bucket, the Game, and Floyd in games played. It's a Rivalry.

You can't spell hate without hat, but there's not much of the former here. I'd argue that while this rivalry is ostensibly about the Land of Lincoln, the vast majority of Northwestern students are from out of state. The vast majority of Illinois students are in-state. To quote the most generationally millennial movie of all time (Mean Girls, obviously) and show my age: "She doesn't even go here."

OTR writer Thumpasaurus, the dean of the Illinois delegation here at this very fine blogspot, has argued that Northwestern is the primary benchmark for any given Illini season; if they win, they are not bad, but if they lose, they're shit. For Northwestern, especially the fans that came of age in the Fitz resurgence, it's a game that should be an immediate win; the Purplekitties won 11/18 under ol' Fat Pitzgerald.

Where'd you two come from again?

Much like last week's Axe pairing, these two are OG B1Gs. They've been here since the jump in 1896 and never left the conference (like Michigan). Are they the standard-bearers in Big Ten sports? God no. That's not what this thing is for. But they've fallen ass-backwards into the most competitive and most monied conference in the country. They should both probably count themselves lucky that their designated rival is not exactly a consistent world-beater.

You folks got a trophy or some hardware?

About that! Much like last week's Axe discussion, there are two! But unlike the Axe, the original trophy wasn't stolen by perfidious Badgers; no, the original Sweet Sioux Tomahawk was and remains a pretty clearly blatantly racist symbol that needed to get ejected out of the sport. The Chief Illiniwek dead-enders (of which, candidly, I was once one in my misguided youth many many many years ago) never cared that much for the Tomahawk. Its loss was not challenged or argued about.

And in its place? HAT HAT HAT. It's also not strongly felt or deeply fought over, but I think the fans have generally bought into the absurdity of it. And it results in pictures like this one. It's a functional hat! Delightful!

Let's get to some numbers. What's the series win-total look like?

Remarkably even? Illinois leads the all-time series 59-55-5, although that belies the runs of ineptitude inside the 119 years of competition. Illinois went 17-6-1 between 1967-1990. Northwestern, even before Fitz, went 14-4 from 2003-2020. To sum up this rivalry, I must rely on a dated reference. For most of the CFB world, these two teams are the same thing.